Bodybuilding is frustrating indeed. The body doesn't grow like Hulk.
The day starts with before dawn meal. Then rest. Then Gym. Then back home. Eat. Bath. Run to Bethany. Come back. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Bethany has given a last resort to me to sustain my bodybuilding. I had to contact Balap for taking the track to IBBF. Anything outside Meghalaya is tough. Surely it was the easiest place to win a state level competition in just two years preparation.
I don't know how to do it. Struggling with money. Left old parents back at Kolkata. And here. Phil Heath said its a marathon not a sprint. The measurement of a man is in how many times he gets up after getting lost.
Today we lost a five years old kid in icu. This month they said icu is spiking in mortality record. A scrub typhus case wrongly managed.
How much do you expect out of man to really call him a superman. Bodybuilding I wanted to do. I discover myself in gym. Its like a child's playground for me. And then people came and said "you don't have a good body, what bloody gym you do, you don't look good at all."
Fun is in going and telling them on their faces "look now what I have done." But it doesn't stop there. Surely God gave man a mouth to just bark. There were days when they said a IFBB pro looks better than me. And then the chase started for IFBB. Some people do shut up their mouth. Some are so shameless that they just don't.
Spend hours in gym, grinding the muscles with the heaviest weights the body can tolerate. And smile cause it drives a psycho in you. And then idiots come and eat your head with their idiotic opinions. Surely if it would have been so easy it wouldn't have taken ten years for anyone to rule on Mr Olympia stage. Be it Phil or Jay cutler or Dorian yates. Surely Dorian rightly said "small minds cannot comprehend bigger spirits. Be ready to be hated misunderstood and mocked if you wish to be different.."
And then the struggle with money. At hospital they expect one kind of superman. At gym they expect the other kind. But they just want to see a superman. A 15 gcs patient collapses and passes away just under the nose without a trace. A ckd bipolar guy bleeds and bleeds till the ionotropes are of no help and we kept banging our heads to find the cause of thrombocytopenia. The kid died as we didn't know the paediatric doses. 200 intubations in one year at neigrihms and if you fail to intubate a convulsing child just because you didn't know how to sedate him. That child also bled. You cannot keep embracing failures everytime. A stranger walked into emergency and collapsed of myocardial infarction, complaining to abdomen pain, until the ecg showed st changes and I just stood there helpless. Another stranger brought into icu kept shouting he can't breathe until we intubated him and lost him in five minutes. He was a HIV positive case. He had no one. He was just a truck driver, brought by a fellow truck driver. His parents in some Rajasthan village had no knowledge he was in shillong. A 19 years xdr tb 5 months pregnant girl died right infront vomiting blood like anything and the nurses refused to go near her as she was xdr tb. family abandoned her. That kid was an autistic child, only child of his parents. And then the consultant comes and tells "everything happens for a reason. Find the reason and treat the cause. thats why you are a doctor."
Parents want son to do a pg in good clinical branch and marry another doctor to give birth to more doctors. And practise in Bengal where the common man thinks he/she knows everything.
When you stand on the stage, people wish to see a Jay Cutler everytime. Not knowing what it took Jay to become like that. Eventually when they come to know how to create a body like that then they say its an expensive hormone game.
You cannot run away from critics everytime. Some assholes will always criticize you.
That day in gym we hummed the tunes of someday by flipsyde "someday we will dance with the lions."
Its tough to be alone. Keep grinding the day alone. Wishing some day we will surely dance with the lions. haha. Working in hospital is surely a means to fulfill the expenditure of the thankless expensive bodybuilding dream. But in hospital you cannot pose blank when some one walks to you as you are their only ray of hope.
If you are practising in Shillong, you are supposed to get the finest touch mankind when a dead patient's relative walks to you, holds your hands and smiles and solemnly says "thank you doctor, you have done your best." Its a far godly approach than the uncivilized people of bengal who break hospital properties when patient dies.
In the end. They expect a superman everywhere. Its not difficult to turn back the pages of mathews or kd tripathi and know how the bipolar patient on phenytoin to control his seizures developed gum hypertrophy, screwed his liver, developed bleeding disorder and bled like anything. Still the cause of thrombocytopenia remained unknown. You just have to open the books. Grind the muscles in gym. Follow the work ethic. The result shows. There is nothing called miracle. Everything happens for a reason. If someone likes you its because you are a superman. If you are not its otherwise. I do miss her. Her daughter is four months now. I feel bad for my parents.
This year was pretty cold in Shillong. Loneliness is creeping into me so as is frustration. The body is not growing upto the mark so as to win. No doubt I am back to blogging.
These two tracks were very nice House MD, civil twilight human and into dust.
The day starts with before dawn meal. Then rest. Then Gym. Then back home. Eat. Bath. Run to Bethany. Come back. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Bethany has given a last resort to me to sustain my bodybuilding. I had to contact Balap for taking the track to IBBF. Anything outside Meghalaya is tough. Surely it was the easiest place to win a state level competition in just two years preparation.
I don't know how to do it. Struggling with money. Left old parents back at Kolkata. And here. Phil Heath said its a marathon not a sprint. The measurement of a man is in how many times he gets up after getting lost.
Today we lost a five years old kid in icu. This month they said icu is spiking in mortality record. A scrub typhus case wrongly managed.
How much do you expect out of man to really call him a superman. Bodybuilding I wanted to do. I discover myself in gym. Its like a child's playground for me. And then people came and said "you don't have a good body, what bloody gym you do, you don't look good at all."
Fun is in going and telling them on their faces "look now what I have done." But it doesn't stop there. Surely God gave man a mouth to just bark. There were days when they said a IFBB pro looks better than me. And then the chase started for IFBB. Some people do shut up their mouth. Some are so shameless that they just don't.
Spend hours in gym, grinding the muscles with the heaviest weights the body can tolerate. And smile cause it drives a psycho in you. And then idiots come and eat your head with their idiotic opinions. Surely if it would have been so easy it wouldn't have taken ten years for anyone to rule on Mr Olympia stage. Be it Phil or Jay cutler or Dorian yates. Surely Dorian rightly said "small minds cannot comprehend bigger spirits. Be ready to be hated misunderstood and mocked if you wish to be different.."
And then the struggle with money. At hospital they expect one kind of superman. At gym they expect the other kind. But they just want to see a superman. A 15 gcs patient collapses and passes away just under the nose without a trace. A ckd bipolar guy bleeds and bleeds till the ionotropes are of no help and we kept banging our heads to find the cause of thrombocytopenia. The kid died as we didn't know the paediatric doses. 200 intubations in one year at neigrihms and if you fail to intubate a convulsing child just because you didn't know how to sedate him. That child also bled. You cannot keep embracing failures everytime. A stranger walked into emergency and collapsed of myocardial infarction, complaining to abdomen pain, until the ecg showed st changes and I just stood there helpless. Another stranger brought into icu kept shouting he can't breathe until we intubated him and lost him in five minutes. He was a HIV positive case. He had no one. He was just a truck driver, brought by a fellow truck driver. His parents in some Rajasthan village had no knowledge he was in shillong. A 19 years xdr tb 5 months pregnant girl died right infront vomiting blood like anything and the nurses refused to go near her as she was xdr tb. family abandoned her. That kid was an autistic child, only child of his parents. And then the consultant comes and tells "everything happens for a reason. Find the reason and treat the cause. thats why you are a doctor."
Parents want son to do a pg in good clinical branch and marry another doctor to give birth to more doctors. And practise in Bengal where the common man thinks he/she knows everything.
When you stand on the stage, people wish to see a Jay Cutler everytime. Not knowing what it took Jay to become like that. Eventually when they come to know how to create a body like that then they say its an expensive hormone game.
You cannot run away from critics everytime. Some assholes will always criticize you.
That day in gym we hummed the tunes of someday by flipsyde "someday we will dance with the lions."
Its tough to be alone. Keep grinding the day alone. Wishing some day we will surely dance with the lions. haha. Working in hospital is surely a means to fulfill the expenditure of the thankless expensive bodybuilding dream. But in hospital you cannot pose blank when some one walks to you as you are their only ray of hope.
If you are practising in Shillong, you are supposed to get the finest touch mankind when a dead patient's relative walks to you, holds your hands and smiles and solemnly says "thank you doctor, you have done your best." Its a far godly approach than the uncivilized people of bengal who break hospital properties when patient dies.
In the end. They expect a superman everywhere. Its not difficult to turn back the pages of mathews or kd tripathi and know how the bipolar patient on phenytoin to control his seizures developed gum hypertrophy, screwed his liver, developed bleeding disorder and bled like anything. Still the cause of thrombocytopenia remained unknown. You just have to open the books. Grind the muscles in gym. Follow the work ethic. The result shows. There is nothing called miracle. Everything happens for a reason. If someone likes you its because you are a superman. If you are not its otherwise. I do miss her. Her daughter is four months now. I feel bad for my parents.
This year was pretty cold in Shillong. Loneliness is creeping into me so as is frustration. The body is not growing upto the mark so as to win. No doubt I am back to blogging.
These two tracks were very nice House MD, civil twilight human and into dust.
